Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Ape Man of New Orleans?

It is not known exactly what the AMoNO is, but to judge from reports, it seems to be a short, squat, and somewhat less hairy version of a Sasquatch (AKA Bigfoot). Its origin, however, differs markedly from the Sasquatch as it is believed to have come not from the North but from the tropics or, at any rate, the Southern Hemisphere (see the History page for a fuller discussion).

If you don't know what it is, how do you know it's a "man"?

We don't -- but it does seem to reveal itself to women far more often than to men. Calling it an "Ape Man" is more of a convention based on this documented interest in women and the attendant idea that it might be lonely for female companionship. But of course it is possible that the Ape Man is a female -- or even a hermaphrodite or something else entirely. We're talking about the frontiers of knowledge here, so by definition nobody can "know."

Is the Ape Man a hoax?

Any phenomenon that cannot fit neatly into some pre-conceived "scientific" category always has its skeptics and critics, and the AMoNO is no exception. We invite the reader to weigh the evidence for himself and make up his own mind.

What does it look like?

Reports vary on the AMoNO's appearance, and owing to the sketchy nature of many of these reports, hard data is difficult to come by. But a generalized picture can be drawn from the accounts we do have. The AMoNO is an almost man-sized hominid, perhaps standing between 5' 4" and 5' 8". It is also rather squat, with broad shoulders and long arms, and has long dark hair on its head and face. Its body hair, however, is apparently sparse (for a simian), leading some to speculate that the AMoNO is actually human. Most accounts dispute this idea, describing its dark eyes as fierce and wild and its squat posture as decidedly nonhuman.

What does it sound like?

No recording of the AMoNO is known to exist, but a few witnesses have reported hearing the creature emit a series of low grunts, which are usually rendered as, "Ngaa! Ngaa!"

What does it eat?

Given that the AMoNO prefers to haunt the city's French Quarter, speculation on its gastronomical habits can quickly turn to the nauseating. It is thought that it may sneak hot dogs when it's hungry, owing to a number of sightings around Lucky Dog carts over the years. (Which is interesting since no apes known to man are carnivorous. On the other hand, who knows if Lucky Dogs are actually made of meat?) Beyond that, it's pure guesswork as to how the AMoNO keeps itself fed.

Why hasn't it been caught?

The AMoNO is extremely elusive, and does a good job staying out of sight for the most part, especially given the often crowded nature of the French Quarter. Most people simply don't believe it exists -- and just try to interest the authorities if you tell them you saw an "ape man." And given the oddballs who frequent the Quarter, it's also possible plenty of people see the AMoNO and think they're just seeing another eccentric Quarterite.

What do you believe?

We believe something is out there for the simple reason that not everyone who has reported seeing the AMoNO can be dismissed as a nut or a crank. The Garden State has the Jersey Devil. The Pacific Northwest has Bigfoot. The Weekly World News has Bat Boy. Why can't the Big Easy have the Ape Man of New Orleans?